CFO walks into a bar, drops tiredly down on a barstool. "Jimmy!" he rasps urgently to the barman, "Get me a gimlet! And get me another while I'm waiting!"
"Tough week?" sympathizes Jimmy as he starts to mix the man's cocktail.
"Tough quarter" the CFO moaned. "The worst. Lost ten million. Next quarter will be even worse. No end to this recession in sight. Could be in Chapter 11 before the end of the year. Where's your roof access Jimmy?"
"Whoah, hold on there fella!" said Jimmy. "Haven't you heard of looking on the bright side?"
"The bright side? How can there possibly be a bright side in all this??" retorted the CFO in wide-eyed dismay.
"Well..." said Jimmy, placing the CFO's cocktail in front of him, "it's funny, but there was this guy in here last night saying how you could keep almost any business profitable by doing only two things. Even in a recession. And in fact, he said, businesses who carry on doing these two things when the recession has ended stay ahead of their competition. Forever. So I said to him that's kind of like a bright side of a recession, isn't it? He laughed and said to me, "I guess it is". "
"Really" drawled the CFO sarcastically, "and what would those two things be?"
"Let me see" said Jimmy, wiping a glass and looking ceilingwards as he worked to recall the man's words from the previous evening, "the first thing was about, um...wait a minute...maximizing high margin life rate and the second was, um, something about realizing rapid indirect fruit...."
"What the...??" said the bewildered CFO, "how much had he been drinking?"
"You can ask him yourself" laughed Jimmy. "He said he'd be in here again on Friday."
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